I hate when people mention someone in their life by their name without providing me with any context about who this person is.
“So Dylan and I went to yoga class yesterday — ”
Hold it right there. Who the fuck is Dylan. Your boyfriend? Your arch nemesis? Your brother? Your pet sea monkey? Your therapist? Your favourite fictional character? Are you on a first-name basis with your dad? Last-name basis with Bob? WHO THE FUCK IS DYLAN.
It may not look very appetizing, but when you mix the microwave brownie with cannabutter, a good time is coming your way.
you can pretty much peer pressure any australian male into doing something by saying “don’t be a shit cunt”
I hate being torn between having the weekend off and working because I need the money.